My Father’s Suitcase
‘A must-read memoir’ - Books+Publishing
Publication date: 6th MAY
(NZ 9th AUGUST)
Pre-order from 4 March 2023
My Father’s Suitcase
A story of family secrets, abuse, betrayal ‒ and breaking free
A gripping tale of resilience and survival that offers hope to others who have experienced family violence and suffered at the hands of a sibling.
A deeply personal and heartbreaking memoir that explores the troubled relationship between Mary Garden and her younger sister, Anna, who died in 2023 after a short illness. Mary unpacks her life of growing up in New Zealand in the 1950s and ’60s, before making Australia home. She reveals complex layers of intergenerational trauma, including the baggage of her eccentric, deeply flawed father and the secret her mother kept from all of them, revealed only after her death. Mary deals movingly with her sister’s long battle with mental illness and how she once saved Anna’s life. As she unravels these narratives, Mary touches on the guilt and shame familiar to anyone who has had to deal with secrets, violence and ‘madness’ in their family. And she shines a light on sibling abuse, the most common form of abuse in the context of family violence ‒ occurring up to five times as frequently as spousal or parental child abuse ‒ although it is often dismissed as ‘sibling rivalry’. It causes far-reaching, long-lasting harm.
Books+Publishing - Garden’s story shows how the dangerous aftershocks of decades of abuse can even outlive the abusers … One can only hope that My Father’s Suitcase is Garden reclaiming her story and an ultimate catharsis.
Endorsements:
Mary Garden roars against injustice to give voice to silent sufferers of sibling abuse. While tugging at the threads of her family in an effort to understand her fraught relationship with her sister, she spares no one, least of all herself. It is a raw and unguarded account of a reckoning, a story a lifetime in the making. – Michelle Tom, Author of Ten Thousand Aftershocks
An astonishing life story of complex family violence and trauma evolving into a resolution of heroic compassion. – Carmel Bird
From its electrifying opening to its deeply compassionate conclusion, any sibling who’s ever had to play happy families will find solace in Garden's visceral battle cry against victim blaming. Writers everywhere will treasure this benchmark book for courageously demanding truth in the face of bothsidesism. – Michael Burge, author and journalist
A heartfelt rendering of the writer’s struggles with an abusive sister, and her ultimate journey towards recovery. Mary does an especially good job of describing family of origin dynamics that set the stage for the troubled relationship with her sister, and she points to a path forward for adult survivors. – John Caffaro, Ph.D. Distinguished Professor, California School of Professional Psychology
Mary Garden offers an unflinching account of her experience of sibling abuse, a largely invisible form of domestic violence. With searing honesty, Garden combines memoir and deep research to explore the complex nature of sibling relationships, and the uniquely profound impact of abuse, when inflicted by one sibling onto another. – Nicole Madigan, author of Obsessed
A fascinating and sometimes shocking story of family trauma and conflict. Written with insight, restraint and compassion, Mary Garden shines a clear, unflinching light on her own family, and herself. – Maurice Gee
REVIEWS and INTERVIEWS:
20 March 2024, Phil’s review on HappyValley
I was engaged, shocked at times and hoping for justice in this interesting memoir.
22 March 2024, Anna Featherstone’s blog, Mary Garden’s New Memoir Exposes the Rarely Discussed Topic of Sibling Abuse
Mary’s memoir is compelling, insightful, unapologetic, and searingly honest. You become immersed in the decisions and day to day of her very dysfunctional family, and the themes of mental health, family violence and a society willing to look away. Mary gives us a window into what it’s like when parenting responsibilities are foisted on a child and how sibling abuse is often mistaken for sibling rivalry and hidden away.
29 March 2024, Nicole Madigan, The Unspoken Trauma of sibling abuse, Mamamia
31 March 2024, Hembury Books podcast, interview on endorsements
31 March 2024, Readers’ Favorite reviews
K.C.Finn: A profoundly moving memoir that sheds light on the harrowing realities of family violence, but does so in a compelling, emotive, and compassionate way.
Laura R. Brush: My Father’s Suitcase is a compelling and insightful journey into the heart of familial conflict coupled with the liberating power of understanding and forgiveness. This book is not merely a story; it is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking to heal from the shadows of their past.
Doreen Chombu: The author's casual narration, educational tidbits on New Zealand culture and history, and explanations of trauma responses and symptoms make the book engaging. I hope that many people benefit from its valuable insights.
1 April 2024, Lily Andrew’s review Bestsellers World
My Father’s Suitcase is a heartfelt memoir that chronicles author Mary Garden’s struggle with sibling abuse, an understudied and rarely spoken kind of domestic violence.
16 April 2024, Books+Publishing review (subscriber only)
My Father’s Suitcase is a must-read memoir, and while the topic may be uncomfortable, Garden’s matter-of-fact writing style is not.
